Are
You One Too?
By Dan S. Gilliam, Sr.
I may seem to be going out on a limb with this one, but has anyone noticed
how many losers there are?
I mean no disrespect to any particular person, but think about it, many
Christians are looking more and more like the results of a disaster.
Maybe you are one of these losers. You are incapacitated by fears,
memories, doubts, worry, sickness, and any manner of addictions.
When we read God's Holy Word, we do not seem to find that the New Testament
Christians were under self-imposed life sentences of pain and suffering.
Many were persecuted, no doubt, but not by themselves.
Let's
look at a couple types of people to consider if this is true.
How many times do you find women who have been crippled by sexual abuse?
More often than not, the abuse is not from a stranger, but family.
Many women have been molested or even violently raped by family members.
Many are violated by members of the Family of God! Think about it.
We have church members who are so hateful as to take advantage of others
by pushing themselves in a sexual manner on someone else.
But, maybe we should examine if these acts are of a sexual nature at all.
Sexual contact was planned by God to be a sensitive and loving contact
between husband and wife. The result of this union would sometimes
be the conception of a human life. How does this compare to an act
of violence that attacks the very soul of the victim? Little is of
as much value to anyone as the privacy of their own bodies and sexuality.
This is something that is shared in a most personal and loving environment
between two people who put total trust in each other.
Sexual abuse is an act of hate. Sexual abuse is an act of hate.
Sexual abuse is an act of hate, not sex.
Where is there room for hate. I know a lady who loves the Lord.
She attended a picnic with her church and was requested to give a male
member of the same church a ride home. She now has 20-20 hindsight.
She shouldn't have given place to Satan and been alone with this man, even
though she knew him as a church man. She
was overpowered and the man raped her. What was even worse, she would
not, could not, go to her pastor. The man was a friend of the pastor
and this lady was sure that the pastor would side with his friend and not
believe her.
Another friend was newly married and had the opportunity to be backstage
at a Gospel concert. A member of this big-name group used pressure
and popularity and soon had taken advantage of her. Was she willing?
Cooperative, possibly! Would she have been willing to participate,
probably not! She was pressured by someone who had influence and
overwhelmed her. No, she was not innocent, but she was abused.
She has never even told her husband.
What happens to these people and the many thousands, possibly millions,
of women who have been so used? They continue their lives, and try
to pick up the pieces. Not amazingly, most do not get all the pieces
back together. Guilt, fear, pain and despair often cause victims
to hide what has happened. But, even hidden from the world the problem
is still active and working within. Some even try to hide the problem
from themselves, but not really successfully. The abuse leaves effects
that keep working within the spirit. Without real release from the
violence and hate, other symptoms start to appear. Frequently these
abused women (or abused men) have difficulty in relationships with spouses.
Sex in their marriage suffers. Many victims become abusers.
Not always with sexual abuse, but sometimes with violence. Others
find themselves deep into gambling, gluttony, drinking or other substance
abuse.
Now consider another type of loser. Consider the person who has been
the victim of church abuse. I had a neighbor who was invited by a
friend to a church. He was willing to check it out. This man
grew up in one of the hardest areas of our Nations Capital. He found
the church to be pleasant, and was beginning to get interested in what
the preacher had to say. Let's call him Tom. Tom got invited
to assist on a committee. Tom accepted and soon was involved in another
one. Within a short time, Tom was on seven different committees and
expected to be at the church almost daily for one reason or another.
Tom had never even had an experience with the Lord. Something broken?
Call Tom. Need to paint? Call Tom. Need money for a project?
Call Tom. Tom soon found that he was needed for anything except for
salvation and his spiritual growth. Tom left the church and has never
returned. Is is fair to call Tom a loser? He has divorced his
wife, gotten violent again, drinks, has job problems. Sounds to me
like he qualifies.
How about the child who grows up with severe physical abuse, and as soon
as she gets big enough to fight back, she does. Out the door into
the streets. One third of all street kids die annually. Over
one million kids are on the streets, alone or controlled by someone else
who abuses. Often the abused person joins up with someone that is
just as cruel as the parent they left. Maybe they associate that
behavior with family and or parental love. Seeking comfort in a strange
and lonely place, they find someone that is familiar. Can you call
her a loser? Why not? She has traded one abuse for another.
I know someone dear to me who was a Christian youth group member who was
very excited about Jesus when she was active. But, she met a guy.
They became close. She stopped attending youth group meetings to
be with him. She just slipped away. Graduation weekend came,
and he slipped away to the beach with another girl. She walked away
from God. Is she a loser? Her life has been hard. She
has had numerous mental difficulties and is raising her second family.
Am I being fair calling these wonderful people losers? Only if you
add up what really counts in life! All of these are weak. They
have pain. They have fears. They have nightmares. They
have dysfunctional families. Is there loss in their lives?
You bet!
But, isn't that normal? No! No! No! It most definitely
is not. Even though most people in the world have had hardships,
pain and suffering, that is not God's plan.
Read Nahum 8:10 Then he said unto them, go your own way, eat the
fat, drink the sweet, and send portions unto them for whom nothing is prepared:
for this day is Holy unto our Lord: neither be ye sorry; for the
joy of the Lord is your strength.
God wants you to have health and prosperity even as your soul prospers.
3 John 1:2
Does this describe a loser. One of the problems that keep people
in a losing position, is that they are not prospering their souls.
Do you recover from a calamity without faith? Can you pick yourself
back up?
Not
likely.
Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God. Romans
10:17
Can you honestly say that you are feeding your soul? How much time
do you give to God. A newborn baby would starve to death in a couple
of days without food. Spiritual food is more necessary to you than
table food.
Someone said to me that she has trouble with God. Her earthly father
beat her. No, I am not talking spankings. I'm talking abuse.
He beat her till she was able to run away. She has difficulty with
a "God the Father" image. How would a God that loves her allow her
father to cause her so much pain? Why didn't he help her?
That is a hard question for someone that is already hurting. I have
two answers that might help.
1.
God created each of us with the ability to chose right and wrong.
He could have created us like robots where all we could do would be to
praise Him all day long. But, God would get no pleasure out of mechanical
obedience and honor. Instead He gave us free wills. In doing
so, he allowed choice. Choice to do good, and choice to do evil.
If God blocked the evil that we do, He would be changing our nature and
not allowing us to have free will.
I know that is not a popular answer with some. Obviously, if some
have taken the option of doing evil, that means some others are likely
to get hurt.
2.
God sees our hurt, and has given help. He saw in advance what was
going to happen, and sent Jesus (really God himself in flesh and blood).
Jesus did not change our free wills which allowed evil to hurt people,
but He did step in front of you and stretch out His arms to cover you.
He stretched them out the length of the horizontal bar on the cross.
He loved us that much. He knew that according to His own standards,
none of us could have eternal life and the joy that comes with fellowship
with God. So, he gave Himself to be our replacement on the cross.
Yes, we each have our own crosses to bear, but none of us have born one
like His.
We cannot always forget the past, and the hurts we have born. Some
have left physical scars that will never fade. Others are just caring
around mental or spiritual scars.
But,
He said I will never leave you or forsake you Hebrews
13:5
The only real way to move on after an injury like these "losers" had, is
to forgive. You MUST forgive in order for God to forgive you.
Mark 11:25
Why are these friends losers? Because they let the situations in
their life's stand between them and Jesus. They lost out on the joy
of the Lord. I know, I am not in your shoes. It seems easy
for me to say "just get over it". But, I do have my own shoes to wear.
They have seen much pain, too. This is what I feel Jesus meant by
His words in Luke 9:23 telling us to take up our cross daily and follow
Him.
No, I cannot say, "just get over it". That would be cruel and insensitive.
You have born your pain. But, I was able to lay mine at His feet;
and, in place of the pain, Jesus gave me peace.
Are you tired of carrying a cross that is weighted down with pain and suffering.
Have you gotten sick and tired of being sick and tired? Do
you feel a hollowness inside that you know needs to be filled? Have
you given up trying to fill that void with everything else? Now is
the time! Wouldn't you like to wake up and say This is the day
which the Lord has made, we will rejoyce and be glad in it. Psalm
118:24.
Jesus didn't make it hard to do. He created the formula. The
Apostle Paul passed it on to us in the book of Romans, chapter 10, verses
nine and ten: That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord
Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hast raised Him from the
dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man (or woman)
believieth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto
salvation.
Did He promise that would make everything ok? No, but He did promise that
He would be our advocate before the Father. What greater attorney
could we get, than one willing to be killed to spare our lives?
Give Him a try. He is there and has never walked away from you.
He is by your side, just waiting for you to ask Him into your heart.
He can fill the empty spot that has harbored so much pain and suffering.
He can take away your tears and mend your broken bones (physical and spiritual).
Give Him a try today. And, then tell someone!
Here is
an example of what you can tell Him.
Jesus, I come to you for help. I am sorry, I have sinned and
walked outside of your will. I believe you died to take away my sins,
as well as to heal my body, soul and spirit. Please come into my
life. I ask you to forgive me and take away my sins and my pain.
Teach me by your Holy Spirit. Show me what you want me to be.
Thank you for these things, in Jesus Name I pray, Amen.
You can write to us!
Contact Information:
Cornerstone Tabernacle
PO Box 17 Drakes Branch VA
23937
Phone: 434-736-8555 E-mail at drdan@marlene.org
Revised August 2001